Experiencing Tranquillity by Seeing Ourselves as Enough

Think back to the last meal or drink you had. Did you find yourself making a comparison?

Perhaps it was an iced-latte and as you were drinking it you noticed it wasn’t quite the same as the one you had at the last café you went to. Or as you were eating dinner last night you noticed it didn’t taste quite as good as when you cooked it last week.

We make these comparisons without even intending to. This is because our minds were created with the ability to make comparisons to help us make better choices in the future. God gave us the ability to make comparisons to help us navigate and survive the world around us.

Making comparisons can have a positive impact when they help us to identify areas of growth, successful strategies, or equip and encourage others to be successful. For example, implementing a change in our life based on a behavior we observed in someone else that brought them success is now helping us to achieve the same success. Or when we see someone else being blessed in life, we celebrate how well things are going for them.

Making comparisons has a negative impact on our lives when we do the exact opposite. Instead of celebrating someone else’s blessings, we become jealous, envious, resentful, judgmental, or angry. Instead of observing someone’s success and seeing areas where we can improve, we examine our perceived failures and descend into a spiral of shame, guilt or remorse. The result of these negative comparisons is a crippling sense of dissatisfaction with our lives and the choices we’ve made which can prevent future growth and change.

Making comparisons can also have a negative impact upon the lives of others. For example, if we compare ourselves to someone else and pridefully believe that we are better than them, it can lead us to tear them down through our words or judgmental thoughts, hurting them or our relationship with them.

When me make a comparison, we are making a judgment or assessment based on our perception. The problem is our perception is rarely an accurate or complete representation of reality. Thus, our comparisons can become subjective overgeneralizations that fail to consider or appreciate the complexity, variety and uniqueness of reality. For example, strawberry milk is better than chocolate milk, or choc-chip ice-cream is the best ice-cream and nothing else compares.

These kinds of subjective overgeneralizations often have minimal impact upon on our lives other than to deprive us of new experiences. However, they can substantially impact our lives, especially our sense of self, when we make them regarding ourselves or others. This can result in an inflated or negative sense of self or others that fails to appreciate their complexity or uniqueness.

Often in life our comparisons become reduced to black and white labels:

Good, bad. Caring, uncaring. Perfect, imperfect. Approved, rejected. Capable, incapable. Pleased, displeased. Superior, inferior. Best, worst. Trustworthy, untrustworthy. Safe, unsafe. Successful, failure. Normal, abnormal.

Sometimes, when we are struggling with life, our overgeneralizations fade to black in the form of an all-encompassing word or statement:

Loser. Failure. Unworthy. I’m not good enough. No one cares. I can’t do it. Life sucks.

Like a disease in our bones, our comparisons have the potential to weaken our lives and faith or destroy them entirely.

In life, it is important to hold on to God tightly and everything else lightly. This is especially true of our comparisons. Sometimes, we hold onto them so tightly it is as if we wrote them on a piece of paper and held them outstretched in front of our face. Our comparisons become all that we see and the lens by which we see the world. If we hold that piece of paper outstretched in front of us for too long, it becomes exhausting. So, too with seeing everything through the lens of endless comparisons.

We need to hold onto God tightly and our comparisons lightly. As we hold onto God tightly, we realize that He is holding onto us. He holds onto us like a parent holds onto a child in the middle of a storm. As the internal storm of thoughts and emotions generated by our comparison’s rages on inside of us, and the struggles of life bare down upon us, God is holding us tightly and says to us the one truth that changes everything.

We are enough.

Just as a parent can look at every aspect of their child and say they are enough, God does so with us. Every little thing about ourselves that we compare to others, God looks at and says we are enough.

Just as a parent who wants the best for their child, so too does God for his adopted children. He wants the best for us and will always desire for us to grow and change. Not because we weren’t enough to begin with, but because we were and He loves us.

We are all unique individuals dealing with the problem of sin in our lives which impacts us all differently. God loves us for this and despite of this and because of Jesus’ sacrifice washing away our sin, in His eyes, we are enough. The power of saving faith is found through the acceptance of this truth and the life lived holding onto it. It is a truth that once embraced changes everything. 

When we see ourselves as God sees us, as enough, it has the power to pull us out of the pit of depression or down from the pedestal of arrogance. As we see God’s overwhelming compassion, grace, mercy, love and forgiveness. The outpouring of His compassion leads us to self-compassion for ourselves, the overflow of this results in greater compassion for others.

Most importantly, tranquillity and peace fill our hearts as the realisation that we are enough tears down our comparisons. No longer are we burdened to live with them, but we are released to live with Him. In the presence of a most Holy God who see us as enough.

Our I cants become I can’s, our desire to be first, becomes a desire to be last, and our desire for glory becomes a desire for His glory, because God sees us enough.

In God’s eyes we are enough. He has written it into our story, and we need to write it on the back of our pieces of paper. When we hold-up our comparisons and they become all that, we can see, we need to turn the page over and read: “But, in God’s eyes I am enough.”

The next time you find yourself struggling with your comparisons, take a moment to focus on God and remind yourself that in His eyes we are enough.

Reflection

Sometimes arguing with our comparisons can become an endless debate with ourselves. Choose a comparison about yourself or life that you hold tightly. Perhaps it is the jealousy you feel regarding someone else’s life, the unfairness of a certain situation, or the thought “I’m not good enough.” Instead of debating if this comparison is true and accurate, reflect on whether holding on to it tightly is helping you to live the life God wants you to live? If the answer is it isn’t, try holding onto God tightly instead and remember that in His eyes you are enough.

Prayer

Father God, as I come into your presence now, clear my mind of comparisons. Open my eyes widely and deeply to see you more clearly, and to see myself as you see me: as enough. Every day remind me of this truth, grow my faith, and may my love and praise of you grow with it.

Affirmation

I am loved, I am cared for, I am valued, I am forgiven, and in His eyes, I am enough.

Action

Take the time every day to practice a form of prayer known as mirror prayer. As you look at yourself in the mirror, remind yourself of the Holy Spirit dwelling within you. As you look into your eyes, come into the presence of God and notice how through the Spirit your thoughts about yourself become His thoughts and how you see yourself becomes how He sees you. This type of prayer takes time and patience to develop. The effort is worth it, as it helps us to see ourselves as He sees us: as enough. Be sure to give Him thanks and praise for how He sees you and loves you.